dear magdala;

embracing oneness
sounds like coming home after a long absence,,,to beeee the end point and the beginning of the quest all in one without struggling ,,,just am that...THAT...
was experienceing the grate ful tree after the rain...its amarvelous feeling! feels like my aura has expanded about 20 feet out and evrything is wide open!!
doing this lesson is showing something to me in addition,,, that is ,people mostly exist within the confines of what they come to believe they are,,, what family ,society , and life have imprinted onto them,,,and the ego has done its work to assemble a neat little package i call " me "...
yet here " me " is "being" something other than what the ego had constructed...a grateful tree...
when i first read the lesson iwas reminded of a vision id had a year or two...an immense elk walked out of the woods and right up to me...it was so large and regal looking that i was awed by it , but instead of being afraid my heart went out to it..it looked at me a few moments ,then it bowed to me ...
anyway i decided to "be" this vision ,this grand elk , and how marvelous it has been!! as tho im the forest itself ,without age ,and very powerful !
sooooooooo ,
what is beginning to sink in is how we are not really what the ego had decide we were,, i guess adeconstruction of of the illusion of what i call "me"
i know this is what youve been teaching all along , ,,the light bulb just got a little brighter..
this week there were things that troubled me, so i tried in the midst of that feeling to "put on" the elk ,or the grateful tree,,,well it was discovered that what seemed so worth fretting over took on a totally different context as a tree...
which said to me that the old me creates its own little world and when anything disturbs that world it becomes a "drama" for me to live out like a soap opera with endless troubles to be occupied with
yet as i "play" with putting on other persona ,it helps me in setting aside the egos version of me
so i can more easily set aside egos desires and i find the true self peeking out from behind the facade,,,of course its been there all along !

whew !

love to you my dear sister
sky walker

**************************************************************************

Here We Are

-
Here we are in a place where Spirit becomes one with Creation.

A place where there are no limits.
A place of true freedom,
A place where there is no use for labels or restraints.
A place that is everywhere, and center.... all at the same time.

Now is the time of embracing....
a place of stillness...,
yet movemnet..., all at the same time.

Will we choose to embrace the awakening....,
or return to a restless, haunting sleep ?

Here is now, and Now is here....
Where ever you go, there you are....

willing, unwilling.....
embracing, fighting....
and here we are in the dance....

I will choose love,
will you join me in this evolution... ?

The time the ansestors said would come.... ,
it is here.... it is now....

Join me as we dance the rainbow across the Milky Way, found in the heart.

Together we are One....
and the Mother sings a song of joy...
for she is truly being embraced though Love.

The Spirit is Alive, and is Strong within the People !
The people are Alive, and Strong within the Spirit !

Here is Now....
and Now is Here....

Wherever You Go....
There You Are.... !

Dance my Sisters..... !
Dance my Brothers..... !

Dance !!!

~ Semillita ~

*********************************************************************************

Is it Possible

Is it possible..., to believe the impossible.....,
can very well be the reality of what is to be ?

Is it possible for all wars to cease,
and battlefields transform into beautiful rose gardens ?

A place where hate and anger transform,
into something as great and beautiful as a loving smile
at the end of a rainbow of happiness,
that can only be found in the heart.

Is it possible for the sickness and pains of generations past,
to be healed in the hearts of the people ?

I've been asking and I've been looking, finding along the way...
light and guidence, on my path.

First the reality comes into play....
the distortions of programming crumbling away.

No more fear of something that dosen't exist,
A calm presence I need to hold, if I am to presist.

What is this new feeling I can sense in each cell....
a knowing, and loving, and beautiful place.....

A World of Enlightenment,
A place for you and me.....

No more sickness and pain, sorrow or greed...,
only beauty and love, if we truely want to be free.

A World of Oneness, that resides in the heart....,
one to be found by the seeker,
and expressed thru the love of the finder.

Such a beautiful and magical place,
full of life, love, and potintial, of what is to be.....

The Awakening and enlightening...., for the world...,
you and me, together as one.

Creating our dance, here we are making the shift.

The World of the Enchanted Flower....,

Full of endless potential and possiblities.

A place where... all becomes one, and one becomes all.....

Fly with me butterflies ...
Mother guide us each day....
Love is the answer....,
and only possible way.

~ Semillita ~

***************************************************************************************

My attributes about expressing myself stem from a need for form. What I need to look at more closely is the expression of the essence, the divine essence which is only reached right now, staying focused in this breath. All my history has contributed to valuing myself through the eyes of others, primarily. How this flaw developed goes back to trama in childhood, turning outward in the search for love, obeying society's twisted dictates and seeking approval of the biological father, being terroized by the biological mother. These wounds are experinceing a beautiful healing just by acknowleding their source and letting go the the wounded father/mother complex that has tied me to the self that values others eyes rather than my own. For me, the quest for love manifested in relatiionships with men whom I used in various ways to try to gain a self that ,in form, should not even exist. I humbly ask forgiveness to them and to my higher self for not valuing spirit, essence, uncondiontional love. My beliefs about myself are changing. I value myself as a healed eternal feminine spiritual being. I will have to trust that this force within will show me what needs to be shown, inside and out. I pray to integrate all these old wounds and lay them to rest in a place when all concerned understand I did not consciously betray them. Self betrayal is difficult to overcome. But I know deep in my heart that the feminine within has never betrayed me. She has always spoken truth. I 'm listening better now. I love you.....

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

Beautiful Magdala - I love you!

Here is my recap... Recap – Union of Polarities Eastgate Working with the dragons. At the start of the lesson, I referred to them as “my” dragons, and while I have had them from time to time, it no longer feels right to say they are “mine” – they just are, I don’t own them, they don’t own me. Owning them or thinking that they belong to only me is an illusion, I just might call them by a different name than someone else. The dragons visit who they choose, they belong only to themselves as we belong only to us. Southgate Now that the “unwritten” rules have been put to paper, they no longer feel the same. They are old, tired & spent. They have no resonance as I look back over them, they are just a list of words that have been put in the proper light as a tool of the system that is used to control people and things. I’ve known for a while that control is an illusion, but I didn’t see the rules as a part of this until they were on paper but now I can see that the rules and control are related and are both a part of the same illusion. Westgate I can see in looking back over my list of what I’d like to change that the one that most matters to me is “listening & hearing Spirit, following the guidance given”. As I look back over the list, the other items were written down because they were what’s on the outside & are the easy ones to identify. In just the few weeks it’s been since this list was made I now feel energies building and gathering inside of me and I’m trying to be still in the times I feel it – and I now understand that those energies of what is unseen on the inside will change and affect what is seen on the outside and bring balance from the inside out. This shift in perception is a struggle from time to time, but unlearning the illusion to see & feel what is real is both healing & enlightening. The insurances I try to focus on now is: INside SURity of self and dANCE with Spirit. This simple phrase written the way I’ve done, helps me to focus on what now matters to me the most – what’s on the inside and being able to share that with others. Northgate It took me longer than I anticipated to make a connection with the Great Mother, but once I truly cleared my mind and opened the connection, the ink on the paper started flowing. I didn’t think it would be that much of a task to complete as I use to do this type of communication on a regular basis (hmm, that’s what I get for thinking – haha). Some of the questions I asked I already “knew” the answers to, but hearing the answer from Mother was comforting and made knowing the answer a little easier for me. I was a little disappointed that we were having cloudy night skies & making seeing the stars all but impossible. But I realized I only needed to turn within myself to see them and feel them – before I would have delayed doing the lesson because physically I was unable to see the stars, but now I’m finding & feeling other ways to do things. Fifthgate These particular readings in the Naghamdi created an energy charge that just resonated as truth, almost like a déjà vu memory hits you & causes every hair to stand on end. It was eye opening as well as spooky & peaceful at the same time. Spooky in the sense of time and how long it’s been since the text was recorded, peaceful in the sense that it is truly time for us to wake up & remember our true selves and remember our roles in the shift that is happening now. **************************************************************************************************************************************************************

April 17, 08 Summary Recapitulation

Female / Male Blend inner and outer Blend of activity and doing with inner world of spirit This blend causes an altered state, perception of reality and self changes. Female Holy spirit - female - valley spirit - primal mother - eternal lover - no time - all times past present future - magic realm - all knowledge - omniscience - ^ | V EAST GATE Male "doing" side Courts female side Seeks her - desires her- considers hers a treasure, a "pearl of great price" that is so dear he sells all he has for her and he adapts and changes himself to be worthy of her Facing fears and "programs of limitation" is part of his challenge, he identifies these distortions, names them and brings them into the open, where they lose their power Recognizing the dark feminine is vital, so he is not drawn away by desiring them, and in the process used up Coming to grips with his own parents is essential also, for they have shaped him. The male learns what the perfect mother and father really are. WEST GATE Lady Death All about change, transformation, letting go and rearranging. Male part concerns outer conditions Female is about our attitudes, concepts, outlook, and what are established ways of looking at life Focus here is to break free of those things in our life that make us rigid or hold us back. All life is in flux Learning to live more fully alive; not as a robot Learning to live outside the concretion's and being courageous enough to live outside the herd (did I hear a moo?) The most important, most vital part of us is spirit. Flesh changes, spirit is eternal. SOUTH GATE Roles, rules, duty, obligation - aspects of the system that would rather have us in the mold Learning the freedom of living beyond the categories, boundaries, That love sees no walls or fences NORTH GATE Voices That the Mother is always there ready to speak to me - to express love or guidance Sometimes speaking even when I'm not paying attention... I'm learning what it takes to settle and quiet the chatter enough to hear her more clearly. And what an exhilarating thought that the stars have voices! Yet it feels like I somehow knew this..;..Do all things have voices then? What are the changes - what ways do I view things different? I have set in motion many things that are just beginning to reverberate in my life. I am turning the rudder of my course. But it's more than me doing things. In the embracing of concepts and then allowing room for them, I think I am opening the door for forces much larger than me, which will begin to shape, and mold, and develop me much more than I could myself. The courting concept and the deep desire to be worthy of the spirit and her intimacy.... These thoughts fill my life more and more. And as I continue in this I find deeper and stronger love from the Mother. This is perhaps the greatest gift. Then the more I am filled, the more I am expressing this love into the world. The exercise - work with my father is releasing me from the role of son in subjection to father; which really kept me from knowing him as a person. When I open my heart towards him causes his to want to bless me... then I am led to want to bless my son... it is like a chain reaction. Also I can see changes taking place in my son from showing him how acting like the humble compliant servant in an abusive work situation was hurting him - how he could free himself from the fear aspect and behave in a better way. The things learned concerning Lady Death are helping me to release things that are really unimportant or unnecessary. And I could go on... Much love, Sky walker

************************************************************************************************************************************************************* Dear Ix, When I met Magdala, I knew I'd met an enlightened being. Funny, I thought most were men. Growing up, I knew that Jesus was the son of God. My Mom didn't let me go too far to Jesus. He was for low class Bible beaters, praising the Lord. In Jr. High, I turned to Herman Heese and Don Juan. Heese talked about enlightened beings and Don Juan was a shaman. I went on adventures with them. College, I found Zen and Father Wren, a half Chinese Zen Buddist Catholic priest who glowed. He smiled a lot, radiating peace and joy. He was kind and loving and read The Tao te Ching to us. We did ti-chi in the courtyard and studied Zen concepts. He was the most beautiful person I'd ever met, and yes, enlightened. Graduate school, well, I just did ti-chi . I had a baby. She was enlightened. When she was four, I fell to my knees and prayed for God to send me something, anything to fill the emptiness. I got a teacher named True who taught The Course in Miracles, which led to moving up here to do Dances of Universal Peace, which led to being initiated as a Sufi. They honor the seven major religions and all the enlightened beings who govern them. They sing and dance in a circle, creating a good vibration. They had community. I liked all that. I liked the saying, "A sufi is the son of a moment." Kind of Zen-like. No daughters, though. I was a devoted Sufi for seven years, watching the men lead the show... I began imagining some woman who could tell me what it is that I was missing. I longed for her. I prayed the only real prayer for her in my heart among the memorized Islamic ones. Then I met Magdala. She had the most beautiful face I had ever seen in my life. She looked right through me, saw me, and still loved me unconditionally.That was something no one had ever done . Not even me. Everthing was beautiful, she spoke the truth. She talked to spirits and they talked back. She had a personal relationship with Jesus and the Tonacin, her guide. She was free and happy and powerful and good and funny and brilliant and direct.She gave me healings. She taught me how to pray. She taught me to give thanks, to ask for what I needed, to listen to the spirit. And she said I was enlightened. And sacred. Nope. That was not me. I had done too many horrible things. She must have been seeing the friend she wished she had. I betrayed her many times. I betrayed myself. But she kept loving me. And putting me in the sweatlogde. I lived to sweat. I cried a river for seven more years. I forgave my mother and father, the men, myself. I could feel the enlightened ones giving me medicine. I could even see glimpses of their colors, their energies sometimes. My heart beat stronger. Her teachings wove a warm blanket around me. By a prayer, you see, she came into my life and changed it forever. Yes, I am an enlightened being. Enlightened beings pray. They love. They laugh, they cry; they are real people.They give of themselves and receive: they can't help it. It is their calling.They are humble in the spirit, but powerful and wise. And they aren't all men! They are you and me and all the women who wait for the spirit within to bloom, and some , like me, because of one good person who believed in them .And they are blooming everywhere. They are seers, seeing into the true nature of themselves and others, creating, transforming matter into spirit, spirit into matter, life into love. They are alive, they are themselves and no one else. They no not fear what lies ahead. They know what lies ahead, for they create their own reality, and there is no pain waiting around the corner to victimize them any longer. They have awakened the feminine who has waited so patiently for them to come back home. They are grateful human beings, so grateful to embrace the part of themselves that had died? No. That had waited for them to return. There is still much work for me to do in this returning. More tears to cry, more understandings, more integrations. But I accept myself as enlightened. Even if I sense just one small beam of my being responding, it is enough. But like a fire that will catch again in the cold morning, I want to blaze.

********************************************************************************************************************************************************************* ...sharing f this couse of Union of polarities....

 I have experienced a major change. I came to work with you as though I am longtime spiritual student of Maria Yraceburu and had processed most of my issues and wrong beliefs, I felt there were kind of „leftovers“ that keep me from going full power. And i was right , working through the gates has helped me in major ways to see and recognize the leftovers in a feminine way so that I am able to clean the space more now. Love is more present in me , as is an intuitional awareness , and an easier going in my life. Things just happen and come to me now, I do not have to work „my butt off“ for it ;-) Suddenly students appear , and people who want MMMMEEEEEEEEEE to write an article about enlightenment Heheeeeeeeee I deeply feel integration is happening , i cannot put it all in good words , it is more a deep awareness and clarity that i cannot totally express at the moment. I am soooo grateful that I found my way to this working with you. It was what i needed at that moment in time...not less not more

 ......After this lesson, i truly want everybody to make a recapitulation of all the gates, what you have found inside of yourself, the wrong beliefs that have been move, ...the part of you that wants to share... I cannot grasp exactly what happened at which gate...it was more like a spiraling back and forth through the Work Recapitulation: East gate: Sometime I started believing that I can be acceptable or unacceptable. Deep down I believed that I was truly unacceptable but if I did certain things the way people wanted them done, I could be acceptable to them and at least feel acceptable for a time. Always there was the fear of having the my unacceptable truth discovered by others. My wounded feminine was based on that truth of being unacceptable and my wounded male worked and stressed over doing acceptable things in the outside world.

The outside world ( the system ) reinforced it all by rewarding my acceptable behavior and punishing me by calling out my unacceptable nature when it was seen. The system is relentless with the punishment. My gotlet before now has been my willingness to stand in the face of that unbearable pain of being unacceptable and fully feel it and look at it and embrace it instead of hide. This got my true feminine's attention. My gotlet now is to step into my true masculine, recognizing my true feminine, and choosing the way of the true human over the way of the wounded human. I do this one step at a time. South gate: The rules define how I dan be acceptable and what is unacceptable. The rules have punishments built in. In every way that a rule doesn't feel right I can see how I don't fit in, how I'm basically unacceptable ( because if I was naturally acceptable I wouldn't need rules to tell me what to do ). For every path to unacceptable, I build a rule so that I won't do that again. At the base of all the fear is ending up being empty, worthless to myself and others, no zest for life, no reason to live or die, no reason to be but inescapably being anyway. Anything is better than that, even living life for someone else's approval. This is the place I visited in Xibalba. This is what the wound feels like in it's most basic sense. Stretching the rules, breaking the rules, overcoming the fear, I see that maybe there is something else to live for besides the approval of the system and all it's soldiers.

 There is a whole different sense of life in connection with the true feminine/male. Talking to others who would be soldiers of the system ( which is everyone, from my wounded place ) about the true ways is liberating, and even has a positive effect on some. West gate: Seeing the system with new eyes and gaining connection to the true feminine/male, there are new possibilities. There are habitual ways of being that no longer serve me, or even make sense to me. Yet I still fall back into the habits. The old patterns of being with others, where did I go? Habits so strong. I've introduced ceremony into my days to help counteract the patterns. I can be lost but reminders come to point it out. How fascinating this human existence is. The jaguar is accessible, if only I remember and then dare to risk leaving the habitual relating and move into it. North gate I have been talking to the mother for several weeks now, but I will use the notebook later tonight and see how it goes...

 I love you Magdala, Balam